"Life is a game. You can be a player or a toy". On this fateful day I was starting to feel like a toy. It was a chilly Sunday afternoon and I had been invited to the Rush on Hot 96, by Professor Hammo. The invite had brought me a lot of joy, as I had always prayed for a chance to meet the 'professor of comedy'. Things were not going so well though... I was broke.
Picking up my very beautiful iPhone X didn't seem to change the ugly nature of my Fuliza loan limit which was used up at this point. Oh! and Branch was not digging my vibe either. At this point I could feel anxiety kicking in. I couldn't tell if it was 'poverty anxiety' or 'stage fright'.
A slight vibration brought me back to life.
Professor Hammo had texted me back with details on what time I was supposed to arrive. I quickly typed my reply confirming I would be there. The show was only 3 hours away. At this point I felt so burdened, not by the invite but by this gift that God had given me.. I can't quite explain how I felt but it was almost like I had been tied to a train and asked to pull it. I felt like I had been fighting a losing battle. Now, at this point tears were flooding my face. I noticed that my son was watching so I quickly covered my face.
"This is my last show." I told my baby mama. "Why? She asked.
"You would not understand me if I explained." I replied.
"It feels like no matter how hard I try to send a message through music, there is no reception. It feels like am singing in an empty hall and my voice is drowned out." I explained.
At this point I was not just crying, I was sobbing.
She said "It's okay. Am sure that if you drop the mic, you have enough reason and am sure that you will succeed in any path you choose to take in life." This response calmed me down. I quickly took a shower that brought with it enlightenment on how I could Fuliza (get a loan) using my Baby Mama's phone and refund the money later.
A cheap cologne, nice shirt, sneakers and a 30 minute drive, I had arrived at Hot 96. I was gonna kill it. There is no way my last show was gonna be a flop. I said a prayer and before I knew it, Professor Hammo and I were on the stage performing Live with Tamasha Band. I was feeling The Rush. The musical spirit kicked in! It felt divine. At this point I got lost in the music. I was in paradise!!! The band played so well and Hammo's energy was a marvel. The energy was infectious and incredible. I have to say, The Rush was the best show I have ever attended. It was so beautiful I didn't realize that time was up. We wrapped up the show and Professor Hammo requested that I lead in prayer.
Now, at this point I was starting to feel uncertain about quitting music. I requested to have a small talk with Hammo, just to thank him for the chance. He was very kind and talked to me for almost 20 minutes which seemed like 5 minutes since he was speaking so much Godly wisdom I wished we could talk a little longer. I shared my experience with him on how I felt like giving up on music and he said something really important.
"Before God gives you great success he has to create in you a heart like his. This way if he makes you a billionaire, you will still treat people right. You also have to realize that your timeline is different from other people's. Many may come and succeed faster but that is their timeline. God has to prepare you first." he went on to ask, "Do you still feel like giving up now?" At this point I know you can guess my answer.
As we were going home all I could say in my heart was "Thank You God."
That my friends, is how God used Professor Hammo to change my life.